Rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper, paper beats rock – that’s the simple formula Pokemon was built upon back in 1996 when Pokemon Red & Blue came out. Instead of paper, it’s Water-type beating Rock-type, and Fire-type, and Grou- look, I know you know the Pokemon type matchups better than you know your own neighbourhood at this stage. We all do. The system has its complexities, with double weaknesses here and dual-typing there, but it’s all a version of Rock, Paper, Scissors where each type eventually cancels another one out.
That’s why I was so confused – although I didn’t hurt myself in my confusion – when I booted up Pokemon Unite and my Charizard got its arse handed to it by a Venasaur. For the 20+ years I’ve played Pokemon, the most fundamental part of the game has always been type matchups. Now, I have to throw all I’ve learned out the window and just charge in – head first, eyes closed, can’t lose.
RELATED: Pokemon Unite's AI Players Are Going To Ruin The Game
Pokemon Unite is a new Pokemon MOBA that has taken many of us here at TheGamer by storm. For people who have played MOBAs and love Pokemon, it’s a dream come true. For me – someone who has never played a game of League of Legends or Dota in my life – it’s a nice entry point into the genre. It’s not quite a Pokemon game in the traditional sense, but it’s still a lot of fun. At the very least, it’s a great innovation in Pokemon that has shown just how different games in the series can be.
All that being said, playing Pokemon Unite without taking typing into consideration feels like someone telling me we can all suddenly breathe underwater. Like death and taxes, it was a certainty that Flying-type Pokemon beat Grass-type Pokemon, but now my Ivysaur can take out a Fletchinder easy peasy. It ain’t right. It’s not natural. It’s an affront to Arceus.
I’ve only had one two-hour session with Unite, but I can already feel my brain rewiring itself, unlearning what I’ve spent a lifetime having hardcoded into me. Sure, I was also an idiot when I played Pokemon as a kid, who wasn't? But now that I know about Tanks, Sweepers, and Stallers, I’m a true Pokemon Professor. At least, I was until I started Unite. Now, I’m back to square one. What the hell is a Defender? It’s a Tank, right? It’s not? Well, then.
I feel like Bambi, stumbling about the arena, not really knowing where to go or what to do. Playing as Charizard, I instinctively retreat from a fast approaching Greninja, only to remember a few seconds later that it’s fine, I can just go and shoot hot fire at that dumb frog because the world I once knew is gone. Now all that’s left is chaos as I try to understand what “I’m botting mid” means.
Despite my confusion and the fact I spent most of the two hours I played running about screaming, I had fun with Pokemon Unite. It seems like a solid entry point into the MOBA genre, and still retains enough of Pokemon’s charm to satisfy a lifelong Pokemon fan such as myself. I’m just worried that the next time I play a mainline game I’m going to do something stupid, like sending a Wigglytuff out against a Machamp.
Next: Blitzball Is Bad And Square Enix Should Feel Bad For Making It
