When it comes to Final Fantasy 14’s new content, I’m not a hard person to please. I realize not every new addition has to be for me, and there’s plenty else to do if I’m not feeling the latest dungeon, relic weapon update, or whatever it may be. If you bring up Blitzball though, my eyes roll all the way out of my head and I’ll muster my loudest, most obnoxious sigh. I don’t think I’ve ever quite had such a disgusted reaction to a mini-game, but a mention of Final Fantasy 10’s underwater hell makes me ill. Let’s not focus on what I hate so much, though. I’ll save that rant in case Square Enix chooses violence and adds it as the next Gold Saucer game. Instead, let’s talk about what Final Fantasy 14 should see as the Gold Saucer’s next addition, Chocobo Hot and Cold.
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Just like Final Fantasy 7, FF14 has its very own casino in the Manderville Gold Saucer. It’s got its own, unique mini-games, along with a few classic additions like Triple Triad and Chocobo Racing. There’s a chunk of the fan base that’s been begging for Yoshida and his team to add Blitzball for years, but I’m the small voice you hear crying in the distance, begging for Final Fantasy 9’s Chocobo Hot and Cold to come to gambling arena. Yoshida confirmed Endwalker will bring a new update to the Gold Saucer, so I’ve only grown more frantic in my whining.
It’s only fair, right? The best Final Fantasy should have more ways to shine in Square’s most popular RPG. Beyond FF9’s merit though, Chocobo Hot and Cold is one of Square’s rare few good mini-games. If you didn’t have the chance to play back on the PS1, FF9’s Chocobo sidequest involved visiting different forests with your big birdy friend to hunt for treasure. You’d guide Choco, your trusted feather steed, and peck the ground in different areas over and over to rack up points, which could be exchanged for prizes by talking to Mene the Moogle. It was a bit silly, but the music slapped—plus, it’s already in FF14, anyway—and Choco’s relentless onslaught of “Kwehs” were pretty cute.
When it comes to grinding for the Gold Saucer’s currency, MGP, I’m not too keen on the idea of long, drawn-out matches. I’m sure a more modern Blitzball by one of Square’s most talented teams could do something a bit better than what we had in FF10, but I’m not convinced it’ll ever be an easy in and out experience given the nature of the game.
That’s the beauty in Chocobo Hot and Cold, though. I know I’m taking on a short, 60-second session in a race to beat the timer. It’s perfect for grinding, and another excuse to bring out FF14’s sort of neglected Chocobos—outside of racing, I never have a reason to see mine in the rest of Eorzea. It’s an easy transition from FF9 to FF14, instead of Dead Peppers and Hi-Potions, give me Mind Tinctures and Materia. Those points you gather in the original perfectly translate into MGP, too.
Yoshida mentioned adding something to the Gold Saucer that allowed more players to collaborate together, and honestly, I think that further fuels my eagerness to see Chocobo Hot and Cold. The Gold Saucer has long gone through dead periods, and really suffers between updates—even on higher population servers. Anyone remember Lord of Verminion? Right, didn’t think so. Regardless, even if Yoshida curses me and I’m damned to Blitzball hell (‘cause we all know I’ll play it anyway), I hope Chocobo Hot and Cold winds up on Square’s radar so we can all jive in our chairs to Vamo’ Alla Flamenco.
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