It’s 1999, and I’m a little thing laughing about some creature called a Pupu in Final Fantasy 8 stealing a cow. The overarching story captures my attention, but as a kid, a lot of the commentary on child soldiers, war, and love goes soaring over my head. For now, I just think the characters are neat and I can’t stop giggling about a tiny little alien picking up a cow and carrying it off to god-knows-where. In 2000, I’m excitedly telling my friends about FF9’s hilarious little Chocobo, Bobby Corwen, not quite getting the actual joke but thinking it’s a hoot just because in a cast of people named Princess Garnet, Zidane, and Freya – you’ve got a Bobby Corwen. Remember, I’m like, eight years old here – I still laugh at fart jokes at this age.
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Highlighting these moments isn’t supposed to serve as some sort of stab at Final Fantasy, either. I quite like these bits, as it’s a lot of the goofiness that makes the series so endearing. It’s why some of Final Fantasy’s most ardent fans were worried about FF7R nailing the tone – the original game wasn’t all doom and gloom like Advent Children may have wanted you to believe. Final Fantasy is actually quite cheeky, and I think FF14, in particular, nails that in some of its side content, especially within the Hildibrand questline.
If you’re unfamiliar with Hildibrand Manderville, that’s probably because the quest is a bit off the beaten path. It’s not Main Scenario beats since it’s totally optional, but by optional I mean you should still force yourself to treat it like a must as the whole thing is hilarious. Hildibrand Manderville is an inspector extraordinaire, and you know it’s gonna be a good time because the first quest is called The Rise and Fall of Gentlemen.
Hildibrand is a goofy, big Highlander sporting a ridiculous hairdo and formal wear that some may refer to as the “Gentleman of Light” – haha, get it, like Warrior of Light, except, you know, not. Anyway, Hildi usually palls around with his assistant, Nashu, and you’ll go on to meet his parents, Godbert and Julyan. He’s Eorzea’s strangest, silliest, most loveable weirdo, and takes it upon himself to stop a phantom thief, save your Warrior of Light from a horde of zombies, and pacify Gilgamesh – and that’s all just in A Realm Reborn, by the way.
Things continue into Heavensward and Stormblood, because the Hildibrand questline is long. And Hildi will once again stumble upon new mysteries to solve. They’re never heavy-handed, tumultuous tales of woe and drama. It’s just Hildi and the endless nonsense he seems to get himself into. I won’t ruin things for those of you who haven’t played it, but there’s a moment in the questline where your Warrior of Light does a song and dance routine – which you can also obtain as an emoji – to summon Godbert in his underwear.
The Hildibrand beats play out a bit like an episode of Looney Toons. FF14 does a lot of stuff with camera work, animation, and sound effects in these side stories that you won’t see in other parts of the game. It’s everything you’ve loved about old Final Fantasy stuffed into the silliest package the MMO has to offer. It’s an amalgamation of Zell and his hot dogs, Quina marrying Vivi, and just about anything involving Ultros in FF6. Hildi takes the spirit of all of your favorite absurdities and embraces them.
I’ve noticed more and more that this part of Final Fantasy seems to have its detractors. Some folks don’t care much for a lengthy questline that only serves to make you laugh, and I reckon those are the same folks that complained about FF9 getting a children’s show. What I figure it all boils down to is that some of us remember these games to be far more serious than they are. And while yes, Final Fantasy does take us to some dark places, there’s still an air of lightheartedness in each entry, moments that are supposed to give you a break and deliver some reason to smile or laugh. Final Fantasy has never been, and hopefully never will be, a departure from the more ridiculous. As much as I loved touching moments between Tidus and Yuna, I loved the silliness of rolling around on the ground, dodging lightning, and listening to Rikku whine. So do yourself a favor, and take a break from challenging gods in FF14 – go adventure with Hildi. You’ll thank me later.
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