It's not often that you spot a Switch eShop listing telling you to "git gud, get laid" nestled amongst your child-friendly Mario and Pokémon games, yet here we are. Introducing Love Esquire.
Love Esquire is a romantic-comedy visual novel that comes with some old-school RPG elements for good measure, all wrapped up in a dating sim package that has you heading out on "a quest to find man's greatest pleasure." Oh dear.
To achieve that, you're going to need to level up by raising your stats and battling monsters – it seems the story's hero only has a taste for romantic partners that value his strength and battling prowess over his personality, which sounds perfectly healthy indeed.
Here's a feature list and a selection of screenshots – we've had to leave some screens out as some of the language used, especially when it comes to the "unconventional techniques" used in battle, should never be read by innocent eyes.
– 5 Dateable Waifus – Love Esquire's heroines are not just pretty faces! Each have their own unique ambitions, backstories, plots, and dirty little secrets for you to uncover.
– Turn-based Combat – You may not be a decent squire, but you have a number of unconventional techniques to keep your needy knight alive. Taunt, cheer, heal, and loot your way to victory!
– Raise Stats – Git gud and become the ideal man by increasing your strength, charisma and intelligence. These traits not only affect your combat abilities, but also your relationships.
– Fully Voiced – Hear your waifus fully express their undying love for you!
– Forge Relationships – Amp up your squirely charm by giving gifts and whispering sweet nothings to your waifu. Get those romance points high enough and they'll open up in more ways than one.
– Multiple Endings – What's waiting for your squire at the end of the journey? Be careful with those choices!
The game launches on Switch later this week on 12th August and will be priced at $24.99.
Will you be finding love on Switch?
