Boyfriend Dungeon has been my biggest surprise of the year. Though its intriguing premise meant I had been keeping my eye on it for a while, I don’t particularly care for dating sims nor dungeon crawlers, so while mashing them together seemed like a (visual) novel idea, it was hardly a game tailor made for me. Still, thanks to my curiosity and the simplicity of Game Pass, I decided to give it a whirl. Eight hours later, I had devoured the whole thing in one setting, maxing out all available love options and eventually committing myself to K-Pop superstar Seven. It is near perfect in its execution, but there’s one thing that needles at me – why were the non-binary options so odd?
I understand that complaining about non-binary love interests, in a game that offers you two distinct choices and has no problematic tropes, seems like nitpicking. It is, I admit it. I scream it from the rooftops “I’m nitpicking!” – but these are important nits to pick.
Related: Queer Stories Are Complicated, And Gaming Needs To Show That
Kitfox Games, the developer of Boyfriend Dungeon, has already come under fire for including a character that stalks and manipulates you, despite having a trigger warning for stalking and manipulation in the game's opening moments. Eric, the character in question, is brilliantly written, and an important inclusion in the story. I have already written in defence of Kitfox, Eric’s character, and the trigger warning, so this isn’t me trying to kick the game when it’s down. Boyfriend Dungeon is superb, not just in terms of representation but also its hilarious writing and surprisingly complex combat mechanics. But for both non-binary options to be the odd one out just feels a little disappointing.
I’m aware that few other games include non-binary characters at all. Cyberpunk 2077 marketed itself with its genderless character creator, but this lacked non-binary options entirely, presented a very binary world for the rest of the cast, and was essentially pin the willy on the protagonist. Other games have vaguely used ‘they/them’ pronouns for minor characters while leaning back from explicitly saying ‘non-binary’, hoping to get brownie points for representation while paying lip service and trying desperately to avoid blowback. Boyfriend Dungeon says ‘non-binary’ with its whole chest, but it falls inches short of being perfect representation.
The two non-binary characters the game presents you with are Sawyer and Rowan. You yourself can also be non-binary, while using he/him, she/her, or they/them will not impact your romantic options, nor will you ever be misgendered. All that already puts Boyfriend Dungeon in the highest percentile for non-binary representation.
But let’s examine the characters closely. Sawyer is a child. Literally, they are still in college, and their dates include you teaching them how to make grilled cheese, giving them answers to a test, helping them with a homework assignment, and defending them to their college professor. Your own age is never stated, but every other romance option – apart from arguably the cat – is clearly an adult. Not only is it hard to see Sawyer as a romantic counterpart, having the non-binary character be the youngest NPC reinforces the idea that being non-binary is a fad amongst the youth, a phase they are destined to grow out of. This was clearly not Kitfox Games’ intention, but it feels pointed nonetheless, especially with Sawyer acting much younger and less together than their classmate Olivia.
I don’t have many rules in dating sims. ‘I will not date children’ is a pretty big one though.
Of course, you could argue that Rowan offsets Sawyer’s youth. The other non-binary character is a centuries old witch who has so little connection to modern fads they call their phone their ‘black prism’ and communicate via crow. But this just supports another stereotype – that non-binary people are fucking weirdos.
If you want to be a witch, and talk to crows, and dress in all black, that’s fine. There’s nothing especially wrong with Rowan, and aside from the fact one of their dates is getting antiques in their house appraised, they have an interesting story worth pursuing. I made up my mind early on that I would be going for Valeria or Seven, but Rowan was an enticing option nonetheless. The problem is all of the other characters are relatively normal. Okay, one’s a vampire, so maybe not him. But from the rest, we have a singer, an artist, and a financier, with a lumberjack and an athlete due in a future update.
It’s okay for people to be weird, and it’s okay for non-binary people to be weird. I’m not suggesting they should have to conform to or subvert stereotypes in order to be valid. But it’s disappointing that there isn’t just a non-binary person my age with a relatively normal job in the world of Boyfriend Dungeon. It’s a child and a centuries old witch – not exactly dimes, are they?
Society has more non-binary role models these days. Leo Baker, Demi Lovato, Sam Smith, Hikaru Utada, and Jonathan Van Ness are all recognisable non-binary figures in the public eye. If we were given one Demi Lovato in the midst of the children and witches Boyfriend Dungeon serves up, the game would have absolutely perfect representation. As it stands, Boyfriend Dungeon hauls non-binary rep in gaming forward, but falls agonisingly short of true greatness.
Next: Boyfriend Dungeon Understands The Importance of Exploring Sexuality
