Nintendo loves a good limited-time gimmick. From Super Mario 3D All-Stars to that whole Fire Emblem malarkey from back in December, it seems that once there’s money to be made – which, let’s be real, it’s Nintendo we’re on about – no amount of backlash about anti-consumer practices seems to have any tangible impact. Personally, I don’t mind all that much. I’m not a big fan of either Mario or Fire Emblem and, like, it’s not as if it’s Odyssey 2 or Three Houses: Deluxe that are being affected. This new Pokemon Wonder stuff, though? Hold the phone, Pikachu – you’re only opening the park for a year?
In case you’d forgotten, the world is currently around 18 months into a pandemic. Countries all over the world have closed their borders, people have only just started to visit restaurants and cinemas again – in some cities, at least – and the news is just one great big constant Star Wars credits roll of today’s cases. I’d love to be jetting off to Osaka or Kyoto tomorrow, but I’ve already conceded to the fact that it’s Japan 2022 for me, if I’m even that lucky. So, when I found out that Japan 2022 might be too late for the Pokemon Wonder park, I was just like… here, there’s a pandemic on. Not only that, Japan just declared a state of emergency because of how badly the nation has been hit by said pandemic – right before the Olympics. Pokemon is one of the most internationally ubiquitous entertainment products in the world – would it not make sense to do this when tourism is, you know, a thing again?
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I know Pokemon is obviously huge in Japan, and I know that with a population of over 126 million, a stunt like this is a clever means of boosting domestic tourism while international borders remain closed. What I don’t understand is why Pokemon Wonder is only open for one single year. Even without tourists from other countries, this initial surge of domestic travelling is sure to stimulate enormous economic growth. Sure, The Pokemon Company and Nintendo are capitalist firms who operate towards their own personal revenue goals, but there’s no way something like this gets approved without a governmental travel department having a hand in it. If anything, that’s even more of a reason as to why this is so weird – why say, “Yep, let’s do a huge tourist attraction, except as soon as tourists are able to come we’re going to shut it down forever.”
I’m not just being salty – honest, I’m not. I understand that there are often bureaucratic reasons behind ostensibly stupid or weird decisions. I just think this is a genuinely fantastic idea, and I’d love to be able to participate in it if I were given the chance. I mean, it’s basically real-life New Pokemon Snap, innit – you go around a gorgeous nature park and get to take photos of all the ‘mons you encounter, all while solving little riddles and mysteries. I’m more curious about which Pokemon made the cut than I am about basically anything else – is best boy Squirtle there? What about Haunter? Surely Bidoof is going to show face after Rickrolling all of us last week.
Who knows, maybe the limited-time thing boils down to The Pokemon Company only getting a limited residency at this park. Maybe there’s something else planned for the following year – if Super Nintendo World is a thing, why not design a full-fledged Pokemon theme park, eh? Gyarados river boat rides and Duelling Dragons but with Dragonite and Salamence – now there’s something I could get behind. Maybe it will get extended, or moved, or otherwise improved. All I know for sure is that I really want to go to Pokemon Wonder, and the fact I’m not going to be able to seems as if it’s burdened by a weird, nonsensical timeframe that isn’t conducive to satisfying Pokemon fans all over the world.
Maybe I’m just being a big Grumpig about the whole thing. Bet you forgot that Pokemon existed, didn’t you? See, I told you! I know my stuff when it comes to Pokemon, and if Todd Snap – the worst photographer of all time – gets to take cutesy pics of ‘mons in Florio Nature Park and Lental Undersea, the least you can do is let me visit Pokemon Wonder.
I’ve probably written more Pokemon articles this year than I’ve had hot dinners. I was number one in the world on the New Pokemon Snap leaderboards at launch and have done all kinds of gonzo stunts in competitive play, like using Ash’s current team, Ash’s best team based on every ‘mon he’s ever had, and more. Pokemon Wonder is the coolest idea I’ve seen in ages, and if it’s really true that it’s only going to be visitable for a single year, at which point the entire idea and any related possibility are thrown in the sea… well, I’m going to have to give Mr. Briney a buzz and have him and Peeko spin me out so I can go deep-sea diving with Relicanth. One way or another, I’m making it to Pokemon Wonder.
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