I'm sorry, Pidgeotto. I'm sorry I never let you become a Pidgeot. I'm sorry I caught a Doduo and decided that it was a much more interesting bird and you were just a daft overgrown pigeon. I mean, you are, but I'm sorry all the same. Beedrill? I'm sorry to you too. Shroomish and Seedot, I'm sorry I never had the patience to nurture you. Lillipup? Sorry I never let you get that big fluffy moustache, bud. And Nickit, I'm sorry we fell out when you grew that small, not fluffy moustache and became a horrible Thievul. Bidoof? Well, I'm just sorry in general, mate. To all the Pokemon I've loved before, I'm sorry. I really am. But we were never meant to be together.
Main series Pokemon games have always operated on a very similar gameplay loop, but if you're prepared to be a little creative, there are ways to liven things up. A randomiser is the obvious one, but even playing within the confines of Pokemon, you can change things around. I've written before about how I like to make themed teams, sticking to colours or characteristics, and how the type-based gym leaders make this approach unnecessarily frustrating. I also adopted a 'can't beat 'em, join 'em' philosophy and played a run as a gym leader, only battling with a team built around one specific type in order to create a greater kinship with my 'mons and raise the difficulty of the game organically.
Related: I Can't Believe How Much Of An Idiot Pokemon Player I Used To Be
The problem with either of these approaches is they don't fix the fundamental issue with Pokemon as a narrative entity. The games (and surrounding anime, merch, and everything else) push forward this idea of togetherness and friendship. Pokemon are like the best pets ever, and your relationship with them is supposed to mimic this. Unfortunately, unlike with real pets, the way to win the game is to make them fight a mixture of wild animals and other peoples' pets until you are the pet fighting champion. If that's your goal, you aren't going to get there with a goldfish, and so despite the idea that you should love and cherish and connect with your Pokemon, the game forces you to reduce them down to numbers. If you find a stronger 'mon that fills a type weakness in your team, one of your current six has to go the journey.
I've been playing Pokemon ever since Pokemon Blue – it was the first game I ever cheated at, and I was punished accordingly. Back then, I didn't know how stats worked, I could just tell that some Pokemon were stronger than others – the ones that fainted less were stronger. I also had zero tactics beyond trying to have more strong ones than the other trainer, and refused to use any status move that wasn't either about poisoning my opponent or sending them to sleep. To that end, there were a lot of Pokemon I deemed useless, and so I would pick them up, try them out for a while, and then discard them without a moment's thought in favour of Pokemon that either fainted less or were cool in the anime. Butterfree survived the chop for this very reason, then ended up stomping the Elite Four, so basically I was a genius.
As I've gotten older, I've become more calculating in my pursuit of Pokemon greatness, but no less cold. Now, I pay attention to each Pokemon's stats and what role they might play in my party (tank, sweeper, and so on), as well as considering type match ups against late-game gym leaders and building a team with solid STAB attacks but also total type coverage. Still, the result is the same. I pick up Pokemon at the start of my journey, then get rid of them when something better comes along.
Sometimes this is deliberate – I try to get a full party of six different ‘mons as early as possible, even when I know I’ll chuck three or four of them away as soon as I get the chance. Other times, it’s accidental – this Pokemon seems like it has exactly what I need and is able to go the distance, then I stumble across a ‘mon that can do the job better and decide to betray my original catch. Either way, the end result is the same. I turn my back on the ideals of Pokemon in order to be the best pet fighter out there. I won, but at what cost?
So, I’m sorry. Sorry to all the Route 1 Pokemon I ripped away from their natural habitats just so I could dump them in a PC after they fainted three times in a row. Sorry to all the Pokemon who never stood a chance. Sorry to all the ones who did but lost out because screw it, let's do a Gardevoir team again. To all the Pokemon I ever abandoned, I'm sorry.
Next: Five Years On, Pokemon Go Still Feels Like The Best Game This Century
