Around 24 hours into Psychonauts 2, I ran into a problem. After making my way through all of the game’s twisted brain levels, collecting every little scavenger hunt doodah – no thanks to you, Astronaut Ice Cream – and talking to every character to drain the last bit of Tim Schafer dialogue out of them, I was still one collectible away from completion.
No worries, I thought. I’ll be fine. What is it anyway, a piece of emotional baggage? A PSI challenge marker maybe? Oh, a figment. Well, that’s going to be a pain, but at least it’s probably in a more linear level like Compton’s Cookoff, or Hollis’ Hot Streak. As long as it’s not Bob’s Bottles. Right, let’s check what level it’s on… Oh. Balls.
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If you’ve played Psychonauts then no doubt the word ‘figments’ sends a chill down your spine and quite possibly drives you to tears. These opaque collectibles are supposed to litter the environment and tell a story, but there’s so many of them that it’s hard to keep track without literally writing every single one down – a big ask when some stages have more than 200 figments. They can be big, small, blend into the background, come in a variety of different colours, and unless you get lucky, you’ll never know which one you’re missing.
Figments can be tracked in a notebook, which sounds helpful, but it’ll only tell you the figment you’re missing if you’re lucky enough to have grabbed another of its type in the level. If that figment you’re missing is one of a kind, you’re given no clue. I love you, Psychonauts 2, but why do you want to hurt me so?
Admittedly, in this case I was lucky. I knew before my search began that the figment I was missing was a banana – a far cry from the many times I was forced to search for one missing unique figment in other levels. It being a banana didn’t give me much to go on – the whole level is themed around a gardener after all – but my pride wouldn’t let me stop short of 100 percent. I had to find this banana.
Off I went, sailing around the level’s open seas on a Psychonauts door, stopping to check every single island, and generally giving more of a shit about healthy eating here than I ever would in real life. Bob’s Bottles features multiple tropical islands, so I figured a banana could be on a tree, or possibly in a crate somewhere. Genius, me.
After about four hours of going through this level head-to-toe, I was pretty convinced that the game was lying to me.a I had, in fact, found every banana I must have. No one else in the history of banana finding had ever found as many bananas as me. Why would you lie to me, Psychonauts 2? I trusted you.
Delirium soon set in. I felt like I’d been adrift at sea for years, desperately hunting my white whale, which was actually a yellow banana. I lazily kept pushing my door boat around until a small yellow glimmer caught my eye. My detective senses had not failed me. The final banana was, as I had always suspected, in a tree. It sat there, glimmering and winking at me, waiting for me to end my fabled quest. I lept off the boat and threw myself into it to finally close the door on bananas, Psychonauts, and awful collectibles.
You might think I’m a bit of an idiot. You’d be right, but that’s besides the point. This elusive banana was harder to find than you might expect – in fact, it has been under your noses the entire time. I challenge you to look at the featured image and beat me, master banana finder, at my own game. Can you even see the bloody banana there? It’s a dull yellow against a yellow sky! Thanks, Psychonauts 2, I’ll never look at fruit the same way again.
Next: Psychonauts 2 Complete Guide And Walkthrough
