Daniella Pineda could kick my ass. That alone is not enough to get cast as Faye Valentine in Cowboy Bebop – if it was, that would have been a very long callback list – but it is a basic requirement. This week, however, Pineda also proved she could kick the ass of every chud this side of the Bebop, and that outlined her as the perfect Faye Valentine.
The chuds in question are angry that Pineda doesn’t have the unrealistic body type of Faye, nor does she have her classic skimpy costume. I actually wrote about the costume last week – I think it’s a little more complicated than it first seems. As Pineda points out, doing stunts in what Faye wore would be nigh on impossible, but in making Faye so covered up, it does perhaps lose some of the character’s visual storytelling, and implies that women who dress provocatively only do so for the male gaze – that women need to show less skin in order to be taken seriously.
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It’s a debate with more nuance than people are giving it credit for, but regardless of how much you intellectualise it, lots of people are mad that a live-action version of an anime character doesn’t have big bazonkers. When you’re the actress behind said live-action character, you probably aren’t all that interested in hearing the layered arguments behind a show’s clothing choices when you have a bunch of chuds screaming in your DMs and mentions about vagina bones and the aforementioned bazonkers.
Most people would just ignore them. In our current climate, where just existing as a vaguely well known woman is enough to send a flurry of hate your way, ignoring them feels like the answer. But Pineda, in true Faye Valentine style, decided to kick each and every one of their asses.
In making a video about the drama, Pineda risked fanning the flames. Had she begged fans to give her a chance, or attempted to explain the choices, she would be giving her critics legitimacy. Instead, she showed them what she really thought in true Faye Valentine style.
"First, I wanted to apologize to the fans that I did not anatomically match the Faye Valentine character," Pineda says. "Six-foot, double-D sized breasts, two-inch waist. You know, they looked everywhere for that woman, and they couldn't find her. It's kind of weird. So they just went with my short ass."
What makes the video even better is how perfectly unbothered Pineda is. She’s wearing no makeup, and appears to have just come out of the shower, sitting recording her sass in her dressing gown in the spare moments she has while her hair dries. She knows these people are not worth her time.
She also joked that the show considered “putting her in a time machine” to change her parents, and therefore give her a more Faye-like body. Pineda added that they had tried to make Valentine’s outfit, but that “doing stunts in tissue paper,” proved difficult, especially as the costume kept getting “slurped up into her various crevices.”
I don’t know how good Pineda will actually be in the role. I don’t remember her one episode turn in The Vampire Diaries, never watched The Originals, and don’t recall much about her Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom character – but then I don’t remember much about that movie beyond Bryce Dallas Howard.
The proof, ultimately, will be in Pineda’s performance. With a solid cast led by John Cho, fantastic visuals, and the fact this project seems to have been crafted deliberately rather than cashing in on a trend, things are looking good for Cowboy Bebop. Once the series is out, I’ll judge Faye by her Fayeness, but until then, I’ll use the video. If the rest of you can judge her by her outfit, it’s only fair.
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